This is why the saying “opposites attract” is so true, and why we often tend to be attracted to and marry those who differ vastly from us. This difference is what we also often site as the reason for conflict and breakups, and do not recognise the purpose and opportunity of that very difference.
Your American story is rare, yet enriches the collective black narrative of never feeling fully free. Never feeling like you belong—always having to prove yourself and play catch-up— striving for goals that put you at a different starting point than your white counterpart.
Hopefully, you are reading this not because you want to merely not be divorced or alone, but want to have a fulfilling, loving and intimate connection that you and your wife will enjoy for a lifetime.
It takes courage to be whole.
Your pain and your situation offer you the same opportunities to define who you are becoming.