This is why the saying “opposites attract” is so true, and why we often tend to be attracted to and marry those who differ vastly from us. This difference is what we also often site as the reason for conflict and breakups, and do not recognise the purpose and opportunity of that very difference.
Your American story is rare, yet enriches the collective black narrative of never feeling fully free. Never feeling like you belong—always having to prove yourself and play catch-up— striving for goals that put you at a different starting point than your white counterpart.
Hopefully, you are reading this not because you want to merely not be divorced or alone, but want to have a fulfilling, loving and intimate connection that you and your wife will enjoy for a lifetime.
I arrived that morning to a small group of men, most of them around my age and some of them closer to the age of my father. One man, in particular, who was the most respected ( and I guess the oldest of the group) took his seat right in the front, in the middle of the small group and said not a word.
It means that black men should focus on fathering their children and preparing them for their futures. It is not our fault (mostly) that whites forced my generation to grow up without fathers in the home- that we were not taught/shown how to budget, how to love a woman, protect our children etc. However, our future demands us to lay down the shields of self-preservation, escape the grip of the Zamalek, put rings on the mothers of our children and raise them to be daughters and sons who are prepared for life.